Blog about the unfortunate events in an optimist’s life.
Monday, April 27, 2009
My OCD is Killing Me!
Oh my goodness! My last post almost killed me because I painstakingly wrote it and then messed it up while trying to erase one simple detail from the bottom! The whole story was really funny, but after it bacame so discombobulated that it didn't make sense, I didn't want to do it over.
So, I have set out on a quest to find a better way to blog. It may not always look as pretty, but it should be complete. I am now using moBlog from my super-cool HTC Touch Pro WM 6.1 phone, which I love. However, I do think next time I will do this with the bigger bluetooth keyboard instead of the nifty slide-out one.
Back to my point (I side-track easily), I have moderate OCD and every day is an adventure in keeping it in check. I do try my best not to drive others crazy but it happens. Today the problem may be paranoia which also falls in with my anxiety problems. There is a guy working today with OCD as bad as mine, but channeled in different areas, causing us both some grief, I'm sure.
For one thing, every time I look up or leave my desk, he is looking at me. He watches everyone and keeps track of their activities. I didn't know that's what he was actually doing until while back, when in an attempt to make himself seem not so strange, he pointed out to a co-worker in front of me that she should see me if she thought his OCD was bad. I know I looked puzzled as I try to hide it most of the time. I also realize most people don't notice what other people are doing and that is why (1) I am not normally paranoid, and (2) I know he is watching too closely for my taste.
He had noticed a certain item in the hallway I always straighten as I pass it. This could not have taken more than a day to notice based on how quickly he became obsessed with turning it a different way as soon as I walked away. It was driving me crazy but I never said anything. Then when he told our co-worker about it like I was a nut-case, I was a little upset that he watched me that much. I'm not saying he watches in a stalker kind of way, but he freaks me out just the same. Like I said, he watches everyone. I know hw has work to do and he seems to do it but today in particular, he is making me uncomfortable.
Maybe I am just paranoid but when I am working and I stop to look around or stretch my legs, he's watching, I swear!
My obsessions and compulsions are just much different and I suppose that is where the differences are.
I will do the best I can to deal with it this week and then he will work in another area. Maybe I can find something extra for him to clean so he can stay too busy to look at everyone else who is busy.
And, by the way, this is my lunch break I didn't take when I was supposed to, so yes, I am really busy.