My OCD is Killing Me!

Oh my goodness! My last post almost killed me because I painstakingly wrote it and then messed it up while trying to erase one simple detail from the bottom! The whole story was really funny, but after it bacame so discombobulated that it didn't make sense, I didn't want to do it over. So, I have set out on a quest to find a better way to blog. It may not always look as pretty, but it should be complete. I am now using moBlog from my super-cool HTC Touch Pro WM 6.1 phone, which I love. However, I do think next time I will do this with the bigger bluetooth keyboard instead of the nifty slide-out one. Back to my point (I side-track easily), I have moderate OCD and every day is an adventure in keeping it in check. I do try my best not to drive others crazy but it happens. Today the problem may be paranoia which also falls in with my anxiety problems. There is a guy working today with OCD as bad as mine, but channeled in different areas, causing us both some grief, I'm sure. For one thing, every time I look up or leave my desk, he is looking at me. He watches everyone and keeps track of their activities. I didn't know that's what he was actually doing until while back, when in an attempt to make himself seem not so strange, he pointed out to a co-worker in front of me that she should see me if she thought his OCD was bad. I know I looked puzzled as I try to hide it most of the time. I also realize most people don't notice what other people are doing and that is why (1) I am not normally paranoid, and (2) I know he is watching too closely for my taste. He had noticed a certain item in the hallway I always straighten as I pass it. This could not have taken more than a day to notice based on how quickly he became obsessed with turning it a different way as soon as I walked away. It was driving me crazy but I never said anything. Then when he told our co-worker about it like I was a nut-case, I was a little upset that he watched me that much. I'm not saying he watches in a stalker kind of way, but he freaks me out just the same. Like I said, he watches everyone. I know hw has work to do and he seems to do it but today in particular, he is making me uncomfortable. Maybe I am just paranoid but when I am working and I stop to look around or stretch my legs, he's watching, I swear! My obsessions and compulsions are just much different and I suppose that is where the differences are. I will do the best I can to deal with it this week and then he will work in another area. Maybe I can find something extra for him to clean so he can stay too busy to look at everyone else who is busy. And, by the way, this is my lunch break I didn't take when I was supposed to, so yes, I am really busy.

Corporate Meetings...All A Blur

I know. Every one of us in corporate have had those times in meetings, particularly long ones, where you were honestly paying close attention for a majority of the time. Then, by some magical means, just as your mind drifts off wondering about what to have for lunch, what you are going to do after work, or even stuck on something that was said, someone will invariably ask you a direct question. There you sit, off in La La Land, wondering what the question was. Your brain is frantically trying to rewind and figure it out but it isnt working and everyone is staring. I had one of those moments today and it was even worse than that because I was still listening. I had not drifted off in the least. None of the questions up until that point, which was over an hour into the meeting, had been directed at me, and I thought, even though my name was mentioned, that they were talking to someone else. I was busy taking notes and didnt look up for a minute. Then someone repeated the question and my name! I looked up and around at the faces at the conference room table. There was not a friendly face in the room to begin with and now they were either sitting with raised eyebrows in anticipation of my answer or either frowning at me as if I were sitting over there making grocery list instead of paying attention! There was another person in the room with the same first name as me to whom most of the questions has been directed previously, so I suppose when I heard my name, I did not think the manager who asked the question was speaking to me. Thats right; manager. In fact, there were three of them plus one superintendent all waiting for me to answer. In addition, I was slightly thrown by the question because (1) it pertained to some work I had done over a year prior and had therefore forgotten about at the moment, and (2) he led the question with a statement that was not anything I had ever said and he said that I had said it and had done supporting work. As s

I Can't Take The Deer Hunting Stories!

OK, deer-season isn’t even officially open yet but all the men I spend my days working around are busy “nesting” it seems. They all have so much to do to get their little deer-stands and deer-camps ready that they sound like a bunch of ten-year olds getting ready for a camp-out. And in case you were wondering, no, I am not an extremist, a vegan, or even anti-gun person. I am a gun-toting, beef-eating East Texan, thank you very much.

I am also totally against the senseless hunting of animals for sport. The strange thing is, if you Google “Anti-hunting’ all you find is animal-lover-bashing all over the web and not very many of us “anti-hunting” folks standing up for what we think is right. Why is that?

Year after year of working around these hunters, I have heard the same tired speech over and over about how great they treat the deer because they plant corn for them so they have food and then they shoot them. “Isn’t that better than letting them starve to death?”, they always say. Or what about when they quote statistics on how many are killed in car accidents. Please, that is no reason to bait and shoot them when you don’t need them; key word being “need”. A mount on the wall or bragging rights to your buddies do not mandate a “need”.

As if hearing all the stories of how the deer looked through the scope or how far away it was or blah blah blah about how the kill went down aren’t bad enough, I also get the more gory part too. I am subjected to long stories of how they hung it up, cut it open, etc. (I won’t give details in case there are readers who don’t know what they do. There always seems to be some part to the story that involves something inside the deer getting cut open by mistake, a foul odor, and who all puked.)

Besides that, and certainly worst of all, I learned a couple of years ago that when any man in my building has a bunch of people hurriedly going to see what is in the garbage bag in the back of his truck…DON’T GO! There will be a deer’s head in a garbage bag in the bed of a truck! And everyone else is happy to see it. They don’t understand when I run away in tears and screaming that he’s a murderer. I do not know what made me think I would want to see what was in the bad except that everyone else was excited but I have learned, after the third bag (spaced apart in time of course); I’m not stupid, to just keep walking when there is a bag and tell myself they must be collecting cans or something.

I do realize God put animals here to eat. Fine. I don’t think he meant feed them, take pictures with a secret camera, go back and hide in clothes that make you invisible from a little tree house and then shoot them just so you can keep the head and most often, give the meat away. You call that a sport? I call it an ugly trick on the animals.

As for the argument that they would starve to death and the population is too high; I’m not buying it. Stop feeding them, let natural selection take over, you get your food at the grocery store like everyone else and keep the heads out of the backs of the trucks and off the walls. Eventually, the population would manage itself well enough.

Either way, what ever you do, stop telling this horrible stories in front of people like me who do not want to hear it. Stop blasting the anti-hunting people. Some of us still eat meat and still carry guns. That does not mean we want to hear the nasty details. We have our opinions and you have yours.

And PLEASE DON’T SHOW ME ANYMORE DECAPITATED ANIMALS!

Top Ten Reasons I Don't Update My Blog

It’s been brought to my attention that I haven’t updated my blog much. After some thought, I have come up with the top ten reasons why I haven’t and don’t very often.

10. My computer firewall blocks my blog site making it relatively difficult to do it at lunch, which is when I am normally pondering the universe and feel like blogging.

9. I have moderate OCD and if I am not 100% satisfied with whatever I write, I can’t publish it.

8. I am freelance writing in my “spare time”, hoping to improve my writing skills and maybe make a little money. (Of course the best part is the awesome things I am learning while researching mostly science subjects! I am such a nerd!)

7. Everyone around me has unrealistic expectations that I will do things like work at my job, cook and clean at home, and take care of the things around me…and buy groceries. Why can’t I just be a writing hermit?

6. I get distracted easily, therefore, as soon as I sign on to my home page and see all the really cool RSS feeds I have set up, I HAVE to read all of them, especially the really nerdy-sounding ones. By the time I am done, I don’t have time to blog.

5. Back to the OCD, I am completely obsessed with television and I never miss an episode of House, Bones, CSI Miami, Monk, Psych, or Burn Notice, and this includes reruns. That leaves very little time!

4. My planner is too big to carry around and use to write in. I don’t like to write in my journal because it makes it messy. I don’t use my iPAQ like I used to because I can’t find my keyboard and mouse and it turns my written words into something else, which is usually funny but totally not what I meant to say. I can’t get myself organized properly to write even though I have tried several different ways.

3. My frogs, dogs and bearded dragon are needier than my children and take up an amazing amount of time!

2. I’ve been busy shopping online for geeky science T-shirts at cafepress.com! I found 8 awesome shirts, some of which had my favorite science quotes on them and daily give me chances to tell stories to people that bore them to tears!

And the Number 1 Reason I Don’t Blog Often:

1. Most of what goes on in my head has no business being published on the web as I tend to be very twisted and think about the strangest things….bahahaha!

Hurricane! All the Way Up Here

First of all, I can’t believe I haven’t updated my blog in so long.

Secondly, I cannot believe that Hurricane Ike made it all the way up into East Texas, where I live! It was degraded to a tropical storm when it was a little south of here, but it was still worse than I expected.

The strange thing is, we are accustomed to major thunderstorms with lightening and hail and don’t forget the flash flooding. We are not used to the silence of a hurricane. It was traumatizing to me! I was really amazed at the quietness of it all. I think the reason the tornados and thunderstorms are not so traumatic is because they come and go quickly, without much warning, so there is not as much time to totally panic. But with the hurricane, we had days to track it and know it was coming and there was nothing we could do but pray it would slow down or die out before it got here.

As it turned out, this one didn’t die out but kept going. I heard from a friend in Canada even of the horrible rain from it. It is simply amazing that a hurricane could keep going for so long with so much force.

Fortunately, we only lost power for a few hours, and much of the area is still without power. Several patio covers in my neighborhood were twisted beyond repair as I watched. I was thankful we didn’t have large trees near our house because there are still trees down all over the area. One of my co-workers ended up with one in her house. Galveston and surrounding areas were devastated. The images I have seen are horrific. Even downtown Houston was hit hard. Anyway, we made it fine, if not a little grouchy by the time it was gone.

I know this is all old news by now since it was several days ago, but I still have people I am checking in with and people who are checking on me. It will be a while before things are back to normal.

Prayers are with those who lost so much.

The Second Law of Thermodynamics vs. Ataxophobia

The second law of thermodynamics says that the entropy of the universe is increasing. Entropy is historically related to order, or disorder, of a system. Therefore, the law says that the “Disorder of the Universe is increasing.” This basically addresses the phenomenon of irreversibility in nature.

All that being said, I have a pretty severe case of Ataxophobia, which is a fear of disorder, anyway. I actually fear disorder and not being able to locate what I need to locate, mentally or physically. According to the second law of thermodynamics then, I see no end in sight for my phobia or that it may actually not be a phobia, since by definition a phobia is an irrational fear and is actually termed a disorder! If it is an actual law of thermodynamics that this disorder is increasing, how can it be irrational to fear it?

In other words, I don’t think it is accurately placed in the “disorders and phobia” category when it is, quite obviously, well-founded.

I just wanted to get that off my chest. I feel some order in my brain now, at least. I am right and whoever decided it was a disorder is wrong; as usual.

To quote Monk, “It’s alright; I’m not OK.”

DT

So Psyched!

I am an absolute TV fanatic, especially when it comes to my four favorite shows. Two of those have SEASON PREMIERS on tonight!!!! Yes! I have been waiting for this! Psych is back on USA Network and I am so “Psyched”! I love that show! My husband hates it but puts up with it for me. Also, Monk is on at and I never miss Monk!!! After that, I will settle in for a re-run of House because I can’t get enough of it either.

Last night, it was a new (2^nd episode of this season) Burn Notice. I think it is my favorite show of all. I do have to say though; they went a little far in telling how to be a criminal last night. I think they may have told the truth on washing checks, but I don’t know. This info is probably all over the net anyway, but it seems weird when it’s that detailed on a show about a guy who was a spy for the government and is trying to clear his name.

I guess real criminals don’t watch those shows anyway or they already know what they are doing. Anyway, if they stayed tuned, they will see tonight that the bad guys get caught!